I know it is human nature to pursue the path of least resistance - in this I am all too human. I've been thinking lately that I have been letting too many opportunities for making memories pass me by. Taking the kids anywhere is a lot of work. I don't ever take them to the store at the same time unless Tom is with me. I rarely even take two of them at the same time. (To tell you the truth, I rarely go to the store at all.)
We haven't often stayed overnight during family campouts, we just leave before bed time. It's not easy getting the kids to bed every night at home - so we don't generally even bother elsewhere. I didn't think of this as a bad thing, but a necessary thing. But how much are we missing out on? How many memories are my children not creating?
Tom and I were not going to go to a family reunion a couple of hours away because it seemed like it would be too much work. We changed our minds and drove down for the day - and had a pretty good time. The kids had a blast and were able to spend lots of fun time with their cousins. On another occasion, we didn't stay at the main reunion house with family because it seemed like it would be more work with the kids. But how much did we miss out on? I don't want to deprive my children of precious memories - but I'm not sure where to draw the line.
My cousin passed away a week and a half ago and I can't help but wish I had spent more time with him. He was 16 years younger than me, so it isn't like we would have hung out or anything. But I really liked him and missed out on opportunities to know him better. He received his Eagle Scout award in May and I couldn't even drive 20 minutes to go to the Court of Honor because keeping 3 young children in order is too much work. It is a lot of work, but now I feel guilty that I wasn't more supportive. Now I wish that I could have had another chance to see his wonderful grin. I don't want to miss these chances and I don't want my children to miss them either.
I'm not sure where to set the balance, but I do know that it needs to be shifted a bit. I just wish I knew how much.
6 comments:
I agree Kristy ... it is hard and I struggle with that every day. It is hard to find a good balance. I too have those thoughts of wanting to spend more time. I too thought what more could we do during the time we had with him.
Moments like this makes me pause and reflect and brings me to my knees.
I cherished my daddy/daughter dates I had when I was a little girl (or mommy/daughter moments).
Robert Frost wrote:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
and Sis. Tanner taught:
"I can do hard things"
Hang in there! You are a wonderful mom and wife ... baby steps!
It is hard . . . sometimes I have an idea to do something fun, but I think "Oh, it's too messy", or "Oh, Sapphire won't get a good nap". But, I guess they'll all go to school soon and there will be a lot less time for stuff like that, so I should do it now! Yeah, maybe later. :-D
I was so glad to see you guys at the reunion. It wasn't as crazy as I thought getting the kids to bed (we had all the noisy people upstairs at night, which helped), but it can be really stressful.
Well, you're welcome to come to Albuquerque anytime if you want a place to go on vacation that's kid-friendly (and cheap!). :-)
I understand the idea of it is just easier to just go for the day, or not go shopping with the kids. But I agree I think you miss out when you don't do these things with your children...if you figure out a balance let me know. But hey you can start by coming up to the Labor Day campout and camp!! :) Just to let you know in case you guys didn't...Jeanette & Cliff, us, and possibly Will & Kira are going up Thursday night...we(as in just my family) will be there through Saturday.
Jason's death made me think about life a little more too. I also wish I had gotten to know him better and feel of his spirit more. Maybe that is one of the reasons he had to leave this life early, to help all of us. I have had some regrets about not trying to do stuff and enjoying it more. I think sometimes you have to just go for it even though you aren't sure you want to. Just keep a good sense of humor when you don't get enough sleep or the kids are driving you nuts (sometimes those things go hand in hand :) Lately when things don't go as planned I tell the kids wow, this is sure an adventure (Ethan is catching on though and saying adventures are just when mom messes up and things don't go right). Anyway, I think you just have to try doing and eventually you'll know what is too much for you and your family.
I'm glad I'm not the only one with this problem - thanks for the good advice and support everyone!
I know exactly what you mean. It's so hard to know how to find balance, and I only have one child so far! You just do the best you can and make sure your kids are happy. And are they? I would say so!
I'm sorry about your cousin. That is very young
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